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Why Is This Happening To Me Again? 4 Hour Audio

Last night the Mindshifters group listened  to the first part of a 4 hour audio version of Dr. Michael Ryce’s lecture titled; Why Is This Happening To Me Again?  We decided to listen to the audio version because it is more detailed than the two hour video lecture of the same name, and in it Dr. Ryce takes more time explaining the underlying reasons for why our emotional system works the way it does.  In this version the first thing that stuck out for me was the comment about Blockage of Personal Error, which is a condition from which we all suffer.  The greatest threat to our ability to see the truth in any situation is our Blockage of Personal Error.  Blockage of Personal Error is the direct result of our denying our creator-ship.   For if we accept that we are creating our internal reality, and all of our emotions, and all of our reactions, then we will have nothing to blame on others, and nothing to blame on our circumstances. 

As I explained this to a friend she commented that this was “very deep”.  That shocked me because it seemed completely obvious and crystal clear.  Then I realized that the only reason it seems completely obvious to me is that I have listened to this 4 hour lecture at least nine different times over the last three years.  Then I realized that this is the first time this statement jumped out at me as being critically important.  So why is that?  What happened the first eight times I heard this lecture to block me from understanding or even hearing this statement?  Or what happened during the first eight times I listened to this lecture which allowed me to hear this statement and feel its importance, the ninth time I heard the lecture?

This is what Dr. Ryce calls the process of “building brain cells”, for understanding new concepts.  Another way to talk about it is the building of a framework for understanding new ideas and experiences.  If someone has never tasted wine before and a wine expert starts talking to them about a wine being “dry”, or “fruity”, the person will have no idea what is being talked about.  But if the person is given a taste of several different “dry” wines, and told that these are “dry”, and then given a taste of several different “fruity” wines and told that these are “fruity”, then the person will have some basis for comparing other wines they may taste in the future.  Then this person will be able to understand and converse with other people about these basic qualities of wine. 

So, last night a new aspect of the lecture jumped out at me and made perfect sense.  If I create all my own internal realities and I create all of my reactions to people and things around me, then I have no reason to be angry at someone else.  If I am angry at someone else, I am in Blockage of Personal  Error, and I am actively denying the fact that I am the creator of my experience!  Simple!  Logical! Blatantly obvious! So why didn’t I see this so clearly until last night, the ninth time I heard the simple, logical, blatantly obvious statement?  The answer is to be found in the decades of personal, family and social conditioning which has taught me that other people are responsible for hurting my feelings, and making me angry and making me feel guilty, etc.

It is shocking at times to realize how much I still function from the position of Blockage of Personal Power, and how much I actively deny my creator-ship!

I am beginning to realize at a whole new level how my goal is to love myself despite my imperfections, whether they are physical, intellectual, or emotional.  This is captured in one of my favorite quotes from the book, The Mirror Theory, 

“…the ultimate love is appreciation of self.  Look around you.  God is living the ultimate wherever you see people loving their lives.  Once you tap into that love, you want to expand it.  No permanent state exists however, where you wouldn’t want to reach for more.  God is a light that is forever growing in breadth and depth.  But then how can I reach perfection if it’s always in a state of flux? – For that very reason.  Perfection is simply the love you find in THE EVERY MOMENT you exist.  There is no other perfect to find.”

We come from Love, we are made of Love, we are Love.  Everything else is false.

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