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  • Writer's picturethayes63

Healing Yourself By Learning to Love the Ones You Hate

I received a note recently with a comments about work that is  happening as a result of this group process and the tools Dr. Michael Ryce offers.

“I have been making it too hard (again).  I have taken my role as a Warrior to mean “hard work”, but I forgot that even though it may be harder for some to dive into their deepest wells of darkness to look for layers to peal away, it is not so for me.  I chose this.  I agreed to it.  I came equipped with all I need to face whatever comes my way with Love, gratitude, peace, and acceptance of self.  I do not need to look for it anywhere…I already have it.  It is this process of presencing Love and removing those things which are not for my best and highest good that pave the way to my purposes….my growth…”

Then another individual fowarded a note which builds on something I wrote about in a previous blog post titled, “A Question of Boundaries and Anger”, where I talked about healing yourself by giving love to those  from whom you withhold your love.  The following is an excerpt from the Daily OM which you can view at

“December 19, 2008 The Great Transformer Loving What You Hate

Hatred can be irrational, and it has a greater impact on the individual who hates than the person or object being hated. Yet overcoming hatred is diffic ult because hatred reinforces itself and causes greater enmity to come into being. The most powerful tool one can use to combat hatred is love. Deciding to love what you hate, whether this is a person, situation, or a part of yourself, can create a profound change in your feelings and your experience. There is little room for anger, dislike, bitterness, or resentment when you are busy loving what you hate. The practice of loving what you hate can transform and shift your emotions from hatred to love, because there is no room for hatred in a space occupied by love.

Granted, it is difficult to forgo judging someone, love your enemy, and seek the good in situations that seem orchestrated to cause you pain or anger. But in deciding to love what you hate, you become one less person adding negativity to the universe. On a simple level, loving what you hate can help you enjoy your life more. On a more complex level, loving what you hate sets you free because you disengage yourself from the hatred that can weigh down the soul. Responding with love to people radiating hatred transmutes their negative energy. You also empower yourself by not letting their negativity enter your personal space. Rather than lowering yourself to the level of their hatred, you give the other person an opportunity to rise above their feelings and meet you on the field of love.

Gandhi once said, “Be the change you want to see in the world.” Loving what you hate sends a positive, beautiful ene rgy to people while spreading peace and harmony throughout the planet. Instead of reinforcing hatred, you become an advocate for love. Hatred responds to hate by causing anguish. But hatred responds to love by transforming into blissful peace.”

There are many ways to trick ourselves into seeing others as being responsible for the pain, sadness, anger, and confusion in our lives.  The truth however, is that each of us creates our internal experience and each and every emotion we experience.  If I am experiencing hatred, I am creating it. I have the choice, once I learn the truth of how my emotions and experiences are created, to create a different emotion, Love for instance.  When I choose to feel Love, I experience a completely different reality and I heal and change whatever is less than Love which is present at the same time.

We come from Love, we are made of Love, we are Love.  Everything else is false.

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