Dr. Michael Ryce Lecture: Did You Hear What I Think I Said?
The Mindshifters group spent the last two weeks watching the video lecture by Dr. Ryce about Response-Ability Communication. This lecture outlines a process of communicating which is built around Dr. Ryce’s observations that we each create our own internal reality and that if we are in pain, we are in error. So this model for communicating is designed to allow me to let others know what reality I have created for myself, in a way which makes it clear that I know I have created this reality for myself. This means that I clearly transmit the message that I understand that no one else has done anything which created any discomfort in me.
This model of communication blends Dr. Ryce’s awareness of how each of us creates our own pain and then projects that pain onto the image we create in our minds about the other people and situations around us, with solid communication skills which have been promoted by experts for centuries. The value of using a system like this is that it keeps me focused on the things I truly have control over, and this leaves me with the power to create change in my life.
The reason most of Dr. Ryce’s lectures have such power is because, at some point in the process, they run counter to the way our traditional culture, or “common sense” would have us think or react. This lecture is no different. Most people think that effective communication is getting other people to agree with them, or believe what they believe, or to accept that what they did was wrong or somehow harmed us. The definition of communication which is given in this lecture is, “To accurately re-create the “reality” in my mind, in the mind of the person I am trying to communicate with.” This can only be accomplished if it is known and agreed upon that I am completely responsible for everything that I think, feel, see and hear!
In this model of communication, when I tell the other person, “what I want”, it is not about what I want from them or what I want them to change or do differently. In this model of communication when I tell someone “what I want”, it is a statement of how I want things to change within me, which only I can do. It is followed by a request for support from the other person in my own process of changing the reality I am creating which is causing me pain.
When I realize that I am the only one who can cause my emotions and that any sense within me that another person has caused my emotions is simply a distraction driven by my fear about what I would have to look at within myself, I am opening a new door to limitless possibilities.
We come from Love, we are made of Love, we are Love. Everything else is false.