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  • Writer's picturethayes63

A Question of Boundaries and Anger

Dear David (not your real name),

You say that just seeing the picture of a particular person makes you feel angry; “Physically, I could heave, and mentally…ouch! …How invasive!  I am so ticked!  What the heck gives him the right to invade my space?  Dang…I am so mad!”

Your comments remind me of another group member’s story on Tuesday, when she described how she felt when someone she knows invited someone to her church, with whom she was very uncomfortable. Betsy (not her real name) was so disturbed because she felt her space had been violated and that she would not be able to keep going to the church she liked, for fear of having to interact with that person.  

I think you will find that you have fear as the emotion which underlies the anger.  Usually it is necessary to resolve the fear before the anger can be seen to be unnecessary.  What is the fear that gets generated when you see that picture?  How does your mind tell you that you are in danger because of this?  What is it about him, or your interaction with him, that you feel you cannot handle?  How old do you feel when those emotions are triggered?

I want to remind you of a more advanced notion in the Dr. Ryce works which is,  “The people you withhold your Love from, are the ones you most need to give Love to, in order to heal yourself.”  This is related to but not limited to the dynamic at work in the “Codependence to Interdependence” worksheet, where we list people who “have hurt us” and then give them advice, only to realize that this is the very advice we most need to follow.

You have everything you need, to deal with someone who is not respecting your wishes.  You have strength, knowledge and resources aplenty to deal with people who have poor boundaries, and still stay centered in your true nature of Love.  Remember, whenever you move away from the knowledge of your true nature as Love, it is you who are doing it, not someone else doing it to you.  You cannot be separated from your true nature, you can only forget it, or refuse to see it.  There is no need to re-connect to your true nature because you cannot be separated from it.  See the game that your mind, and your years of conditioning are playing on you, and it will cease to have any impact on you.  

Don’t forget to practice generating Love and then sending it to yourself, and sending it to “the trigger” who is your current focus.

Remember that when you are viewing things through the fear filter, you are not viewing things accurately.  You are getting distorted information and bad data, and that is what you are using to create your reality.

We come from Love, we are made of Love, we are Love.  Everything else is false.

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